REAL Mixed-Neurological Relationships Values

These are the Shared Values my colleagues, Bronmaree Wilson and Pnina Arad, and myself have decided upon.

  1. We believe that all people are of equal worth and value, regardless of neurological differences. We believe in neurodiversity.
  2. We believe that all marriages and intimate relationships should be relationships of equality.
  3. We believe that the perspectives of both spouses are equally valuable.
  4. We believe that both members of all marriages need and deserve support from their spouses.
  5. We seek to support both members of mixed-neurological marriages without favoring the typically developing partner or the partner with autism.
  6. We adjust our understandings based on what science tells us about mixed-neurological relationships.
  7. We believe that the neurological incompatibilities in mixed-neurological marriages affect communication and social interaction between the spouses and can cause distress in both partners.
  8. We believe mental health professionals, families, communities, religious leaders and society need a better understanding of mixed-neurological marriages so that both partners’ needs and concerns are believed and taken seriously and so that both partners are supported equally.
  9. We believe every individual has an inherent right choose when to enter a marriage and when to leave a marriage.
  10. We believe that intimate partner violence, whether physical, verbal, psychological, sexual or financial, is unacceptable.
  11. We believe that mixed-neurological marriages are susceptible to intimate partner violence.
  12. We believe both partners in mixed-neurological marriages are susceptible to trauma in their relationships.
  13. We believe that using money or children to coerce a spouse into sexual consent is different than, but akin to, rape.
  14. We believe that using money or children to coerce a partner to stay in a marriage is unethical and destructive to individuals, families, children, communities and society. We believe governments are obligated to legislate and enforce laws accordingly.
  15. We believe religious leaders can improve their communities through learning about mixed-neurological marriage and divorce and providing support to both partners regardless of the decisions they make.
  16. We believe that encouraging others to stay in marriages that include intimate partner violence is unethical and harmful to individuals, families, children, communities and society.
  17. We believe the claim that divorce is always bad for children is false.
  18. We believe the divorce process can be particularly difficult for mixed-neurological couples and that governments are obligated to legislate to protect families from the unnecessary distress that can occur during divorce when one adult is typically developing and one adult is on the autism spectrum.
  19. We believe that both partners should leave divorce as financial equals and that laws that work to ensure children are well taken care of after divorce are paramount.
  20. We believe that married people, divorced people and single people all have equal worth and value.

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